I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
