at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
