And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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