i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We don't watch enough power rangers
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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