he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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