i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
