Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
