so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
