College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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