Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
