you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
