She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My vagina is officially offended.
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It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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