guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
