please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
