Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
