guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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