I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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