My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
