I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
