Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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