I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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