SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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