i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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