Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
