You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
They took my balls.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
