ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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