For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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