White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
