just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
