I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
vagina is talking i cant
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My vagina is officially offended.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
