that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize