Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
