if i died would you start the facebook group?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
