It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
