Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
time to smoke my breakfast
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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