I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
