Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
