I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
