dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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