he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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