I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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