I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
