does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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