return my video game
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
