You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
