if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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