Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
