quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
