Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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