shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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