I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
