never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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