Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
