just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
