you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize