I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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