what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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