I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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