addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
