i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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